Tag: security

The tragic part of your journey

tragicInside every one of us is a desire to know ourselves.  Many are able to numb this desire by a great variety of pursuits and focuses which allow them to be distracted from the search for self.  This is the biggest tragedy.  The fact that people can go through life never knowing themselves, never seeing and realizing their potential, never coming to know and release the gift that they are into the world.

Everyone of us was created with purpose, and there is not a single person born who was a mistake.  Every person was created with meaning and purpose and gifting.  And far to many of us miss out on the blessing we are by not taking the time to seek out ourselves.  Our world has an ability to exert great pressure on us and without an inner sense of purpose we will always get squeezed out.  The choice before us is never one of becoming.  We will always become something.  Becoming is a certainty.  The question is always what will we become.  If we do not decide to search out and become ourselves, our world and our relationships will decide for us.

The problem with identity is that there is a false identity.  For every truth there is a false.  And we have all developed a false identity.  The mask that we choose to wear that makes us acceptable to those around us.  We all have a false identity.  One that we use to protect our vulnerabilities, and that drives us forward to gain the things that our souls are longing for.

It didn’t take us very long to learn in life that we could manipulate the way people saw us to gain something we wanted to have, or  to elicit a certain response from people.  We began to develop mannerisms that we used to gain the things or relationships we desire.  This is how we began to build our false identity.  Add to that the situations we grew up in and the expectations of those around us to fit in and measure up to and we have an identity that is built on illusion.  One that we have had for so long we don’t even think about it any more

Because our false identity is build on illusion it will always fight hard to protect itself.  One of the easiest ways to identify our false identity is to begin to name the areas of our lives that are the most sensitive to outside influences.  We all have irrational defense mechanisms that almost instinctively arise within us.  These are the defense mechanisms of our false identity.  “Because of its fundamental unreality, the false self needs constant bolstering. Touchiness dependably points us to false ways of being. And the more prickly a person you are, the more you are investing in the defense of a false self. Some people bristle easily if they are not taken seriously, thus betraying a need for others to see the self-importance that is so obvious to them. Others take themselves too seriously, perhaps being unable to laugh at themselves. Both reactions suggest ego inflation. Others have learned to mask these outward displays of defensiveness, but inner reactions of annoyance or irritation still point toward the presence of a false self.”  Benner, David G. (2009-09-20). The Gift of Being Yourself: The Sacred Call to Self-Discovery (p. 83). InterVarsity Press. Kindle Edition.

As you begin to know yourself and remove the false identities you no longer have a need to defend anything.  Because you are built on conviction instead of illusion there is no need to defend something that cannot be destroyed.  And this causes those around us who have not chosen to begin their own search for identity to become uneasy and defensive, and many times they will begin to attack the person we are becoming, usually without realizing they are doing it.  We are simply a threat to their sense of identity and they are responding because of the insecure nature of their false self.

Which means that there is going to be some pain along the way.  Unfortunately we cannot avoid it.  But it shouldn’t keep us from digging.  It should cause us to seek out those who are on their own journey of discovery, and we can then seek support from those who are working on the same things.  It is very important that we don’t make this journey alone.  As we begin to see ourselves for who we are it is a fragile state to be in, and we will need the support of others to carry us through the early stages of discovery.

A great benefit to us growing into who we really are is that we will inspire others to do the same.  As others see the strength and security growing in us they will begin to ask the same questions that got you started, so the journey is exceedingly worth making.  Don’t allow the tragic attacks of those around you stop you from discovering who you really are.  Otherwise you will add to the pile of people living out the greatest tragedy of never discovering who they are.

Discover Identity

who am iEveryone needs an identity.  It is something we search for from the day we are born.  And all through life we have opportunities to change our identity.  We are born and our identity is related to our mother.  As we grow we begin to relate with our father.  Then somewhere around two we begin to separate our identity from those around us.  We begin to look for our own identity.

Many people try to create their identity.  They adapt and mold themselves to be more acceptable to those they want to relate to, or those they think are cool.   All of us have had this struggle throughout our school years.  We find ourselves accepted by many of those around us, or not accepted by them, because of the way we act and dress.  And that changes as we try to make ourselves acceptable.  We all know someone who can change who they are depending on who they are with.  There is no sense of security build inside that allows them to simply be, and let the cards fall where they may.

The struggle to be accepted, and the struggle for identity can often seem to be in opidentity maskposition to each other.  If I am the way I want, they won’t accept me.  But if they accept me I won’t be the way I want.  Peer pressure is a powerful influence in our lives.  It causes most of us to live with masks that we change and wear depending on our situations.  Unfortunately this means that we don’t ever become who we were meant to be.  Our identity isn’t something we can create to fit our situations, or to fit our goals.  David Benner wrote “Identity is never simply a creation. It is always a discovery. True identity is always a gift of God.”

Identity is something we were born with.  Our passions, desires, goals and dreams arise from our identity.  And we discover and grow in our identity as we find acceptance for who we are, and for who we are becoming.  Without acceptance we fit the mold we are given.  Without acceptance we and our world miss out on who we are.  Finding those people who can accept us simply because we are is extremely valuable and necessary.  They can be hard to find, but they are out there.  Don’t let people fit you into their mold for you.  There is someone extremely valuable inside that is worth becoming if you will look for them.

Securely Anchored

anchorAnchors have been around as long as we have had boats on water.  They are a means of securing a boat to keep it from drifting away.  On larger vessels capable of ocean voyages they also secure the ship against the storms that come.  Oil drilling rigs are often stationed in some of the worst areas in our oceans for storms and they are anchored securely and even the worst of the storms the crew can remain secure in the fact that the anchors have been designed to keep them secure and in place.  They won’t drift or blow away.

In our lives anchors are important as well.  We live in a world that is going crazier every day.  With new bombings happening in Belgium, and Turkey, and terrorist attacks on the rise all around the world our lives are become more and more unstable.  People are beginning to question much of what they had counted on for securing.  With global instability rising, and markets crashing even the finances we had set aside and based some security in for our future is disappearing.  Overnight people are waking up to realities where the moneys they had worked so hard to set aside and plan for had disappeared.  Many lost thousands as the market values crashed and world currencies devalued.  Security has become an illusion for many people.  With home invasions on the rise, and gun violence all around us many have become disillusioned with what we had at one time considered security.

In all of this there is an opportunity to have real hope.  An all-encompassing sense of security inside, even when the world is going crazy outside.  There is an ability to have a confident peace that is secure and quietly allows you to weather all that life may send your way.  It isn’t an absence of things going wrong, but a confidence and hope that fills us regardless of things going wrong.

1 Peter 1:3 talks about this hope that is available to us.  “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.” NIV Jesus is alive.  He was dead, and was raised to life again, and because of this we can have a deep-seated hope and confidence that is not dependent on our circumstances.  A hope which anchors us securely through all that life sends our way.  “This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls.” Hebrews 6:19 NLT

As we enter the season where we as Christians reflect on what Jesus did for us, and offers to us because of His death and resurrection we need to refocus our lives at times.  We can get distracted and allow ourselves to let go of our anchor and tie ourselves to many other things which will never be able to hold us true and steady.  In this season we need to ask ourselves what are we anchored to, and will it hold no matter what comes?