We have all heard the saying that “time heals all wounds.” We get wounded by friends for family members, or others who are close to us and we figure that if we give it enough time we will be able to move past it and be able to forget about what happened. And yet the memories and often the pain continue to haunt us as we struggle to focus and continue with our daily life. I agree with Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy when she said “It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, (protecting its sanity), covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But, it is never gone.” Time just doesn’t heal all wounds.
Some wounds require us to focus on what really happened within us. Only be searching within can we find the answers to what went wrong and what we can do to change it. Usually most wounds require the attention of the one who wounded us. Unfortunately this is something we don’t want to do. The one who hurt us is often the one that can bring healing to our soul. Unless we are willing to begin to seek reconciliation with those who have hurt us, we can never truly be healed. This starts first with forgiveness. We have to forgive those who have hurt us, including ourselves. Sometimes we are the bringer of the deepest wounds in our soul. But even though forgiveness is our choice, it goes neglected and the blame often gets put on those who have hurt us. They don’t deserve to be forgiven is often the feeling communicated. Or I’ll forgive them when they come and apologize. And yet unforgiveness binds us to the person who hurt us and to the hurt, and the person who caused the injury to us goes on with their life like nothing happened, often because they don’t know anything did happen.
And so we must choose to forgive, and often at times deal personally with the one who hurt us. A face to face meeting to discuss what happened, and allow ourselves to feel the hurt, and to communicate the hurt so the one who hurt us can see the damage and offer their side of the story. Quite often the hurt is caused by a misunderstanding, and unless it is talked about true understanding can never come. If we choose to allow time to bring the healing we will continue to wander through life never being truly free of the pain within. But if we choose to deal with the cause of the pain, we can make inroads into self discovery and freedom that can only come by facing the issues and bringing resolution to them.
The Blog of Tom Sanders 